What do you give your husband for Valentines Day, when you know that, no matter what you give him, his response will be, "how much did we pay for that?" Nothing. You get him nothing. I'm not kidding. In fact, the man I married would totally love it if I wrote him a little love note that said something like this: "My dearest love; because I love you so much, I didn't spend a red cent on your Valentines gift. I didn't get a stuffed animal with a heart in its paws, I didn't get anything red or glittery or schmaltzey or dripping in generic sentiment. I did not make reservations at a pricey restaurant or buy the couples package at the hotel. I did not spend one pretty penny (or any ugly ones!) of the money you work so hard to earn. That's how much I love you."
And Mark would read the note, and wipe a little tear out of his eye, fold it up and put it in his pocket, and say,"honey, that is the best valentines gift you've ever given me!" And then he would give me a big hug and say, "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything."
I'm not joking here. But I have to be honest. It is REALLY hard for me to give my husband what he wants for Valentines day. It is almost painful for me to NOT do something for Valentines day. It feels unnatural, like bending my knee the wrong way, or holding my breath too long. I WANT to do something red and glittery and schmaltzy. I WANT to cover our bed with red rose petals and leave a trail of red foil hearts from the back door all the way through the house. Something. Anything!
So, I rearranged our bedroom. Doesn't that sound like the perfect gift? Come on! Isn't that romantic? Well, I have to tell you, Mark loved it, which is all that matters. For starters, it was free. That's key to him being happy about it. But the reason I did it was this: several months ago (I think it was June?) I started deep-cleaning our room. I decided to move stuff around so I could vacuum under it and all that. But I got a little carried away. And I completely rearranged the room. And added a couple of items that hadn't been in it previously: a crib (I was trying to move Yvette out of our bed and into a crib...didn't work, but Eliza loved to take naps in it...) and a desk (that ended up being a magnet for big, unorganized piles of SCHTUFF); so it was kinda crowded and un-asthetic. And Mark came home just as I was finishing up. He was not pleased. But he left it alone, and didn't even complain about it. But I know him. He was really not pleased. So, Thursday, as I was trying desperately to give my husband a gift because I wanted to, and give him a gift that he would really like, I hit upon putting the room back the way he likes it...and deep-cleaning it in the process.
It sounded like a good idea at the time. But I couldn't get the crib out (Yvette is now sleeping upstairs in the Girls Room). So I took off the door. Still couldn't get the crib out. I tried to take it apart. I'm such a girl, I can't comptently use a screwdriver. I "sorta" got it apart, enough to get it out of the room. Hyrum helped me a lot. It was his screwdriver I used. Then he helped me move the desk to the upstairs bathroom, where we are now using it as a vanity (the girls LOVE that!). But then I had to figure out what to do with all that SCHTUFF piled on it. Currently, it sits in baskets lining the wall of my now very spaceous bedroom. On the floor. Right where everyone can get into them. I still have to sort-and-find-a-home-for all of it. *sigh* And Mark got home for lunch before I had it completely together (door still off hinges, mangled crib still in the hall...)
BUT! He loved it! He even bragged about what he got for Valentines Day to everyone at his office . Of course, the guys all thought it was a little odd, but the women all said, "Awe! That's SO sweet!" So, now, our room feels a kinda empty. But Mark is happy. He didn't get me anything. I'm OK with that. All I really wanted was a salad, anyway.
7 comments:
I know how to get your piles of STUFF cleaned up in your bedroom.... Take a picture of it, and post it.... and then announce to the world that you are going to have it all cleaned up, and give yourself like a week's deadline, and just knowing you will have to post a new picture (all gone/all clean) will get you motivated. I tried it, and it worked.
galbraith men pretty much stink when it comes to gifts....of any kind..holiday or birthday or anniversary... do i sound bitter? really, i'm not....okay, maybe i am!!
hee hee, great story. sorry you didn't get a gift. my favorite anniversary gift was the year chris wrote me the sweetest letter. that's good enough for me!
I'm with you -- it's so hard not to do anything for my Mark too and he's just like yours. Less is more as far as he's concerned. Good for you -- I gave in and did some treats for him. Yours was much better.
I love this post! I also live with a very cheap husband! I laughed when I read that if you gave him a note that said you didn't spend a penny and he would read it, fold it (keeping it) and wipe away a tear'... I can totally relate!!
seriously, my husband..same way. This year we didn't even do REAL V-day cards..we did e-cards.
That's hilarious--and so Mark. I have to say, I'm glad my husband was willing to take me out to dinner (on his dime!) and give me roses, because that's what makes Valentine's special for me. I made him a chocolate treat, which is exactly what he likes and it cost very little because it was homemade (which makes him like it even more).
Ben would have loved to come home to a house that was beautifully clean and organized, with every remaining box gone. Unfortunately, with my energy level these days...I congratulate you on your wonderful gift for your hubby!
I think what makes Valentine's Day meaningful after years of marriage is to do what your spouse loves, and what shows your love for him, rather than the shmaltzy hearts, flowers, and stuffed animals that are so heavily marketed. That stuff has its place (for boyfriend/girlfriend,newlyweds, school friends, or Daddy/Daughter Valentine's Dance!)but it's better to get something REAL for your spouse.
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