On the Verge

[update: Hillary, you win. I will quit feeling sorry for myself.]

Welcome to my Self-Pity Party. I'm only posting about it because I need to vent, and I need to laugh about it, and I need to look back on this someday with warm, fuzzy nostalgia.

It's been an insane day.

Item #1 - Yvette decides she wants to potty-train. Now, I hate potty-training. I would totally change diapers for four years straight before I potty-trained. Diapers are so much easier. Potty-training is so...messy. And smelly! And urgent: Amber is fixing dinner, food prep is reaching a critical-timing moment, and suddenly the toilet-trainer squeals, "Mommy, I have to go potty NOW!" I hate having to drop everything and be at the beck and call of my toddler's under-capacity bladder. I knew Yvy was getting close. I figured I could hold her off until Summer (oh, how I loathe toilet-training in the Winter), or Spring at the soonest. Nope, this girl will not be dissuaded. So, she has spent most of the day running through the house a free spirit, completely unhindered by any shreds of clothing. (She has a dress on now, and I just put her diaper on, because nap time is sneaking up on us.) She is so excited to use her "special seat" and loves to announce at the top of her cute little voice, "I'm peening, Mommy!" And she thinks that, since other people get to help wipe her bum, she gets to help wipe their bums. No one is safe anymore if Yvy knows they are using the Necessary Room.

Item #2 - George develops an opinion. It's too soon! He's only 4 months. I want the days when he sleeps for 16 out of 24 hours to go on endlessly! But now he wants to be held. And loved. And played with. He demands eye contact. He wants to eat my face.
He needs to nurse, but he wants to visit and be charming. It's so cute! But I'm way over-committed today to stop and just hang out with him for hours while he takes his time, snacking, smiling, snacking, and making airplane noises. That baby-hanging-from-the-wall device is looking a little less ridiculous. I have my trusty baby sling that I can snuggle him with, but it's not the same experience as working with both hands free and no body's body interfering with what I'm doing...except mine, maybe.

Item #3 - Pack Meeting is tonight. It's Hyrum's last. There was a loooooong break in Cub Scout pack meetings, so even though he aged out of Webelos at the beginning of October, tonight is the night of his Bridging Ceremony. And his Arrow of Light. And "we" volunteered to do the refreshments ("we" meaning Mark and Hyrum, mind you). So this morning, as soon as breakfast was over, Hyrum and I went to the store to get the ingredients to make the treats he really wanted: Oreo Balls and Broken Glass Jell-O (Thank you, Natalie!), along with my mom's cream mints, and the Seven Layer Bars recipe I got out of the Gardner Gazette. I am trying to lose weight, so there will also be carrots, celery and broccoli. Now, on to the oh-so-frantic task of getting it all together before 6:30 tonight. And making sure Hyrum can recite the Scout Law, the Scout Motto, the Scout Handshake...

Item #4 - I have a dentist appointment. I'm such a dummy. Why did I set it for the middle of morning in the middle of the week? As soon as Hyrum and I got back from the store, we started the Broken Glass Jell-O, and then I ran like crazy. I just barely got there on time. I don't mind dentist appointments. Just because there are two people poking three different tools into my mouth doesn't mean I can't carry on my usual witty banter. I find it amusing to see if I can get my dentist and his hygienist to laugh at my bad puns and silly jokes while they're cleaning and polishing my teeth. But today, it was just one more thing.

Item #5 - I'm clumsy when I work-one handed AND I'm in a hurry. That's why I knocked the glass off the shelf while I was trying to set the table for lunch. But that's not what happened to the syrup jug. That just fell off the fridge when I opened the freezer door. But it busted anyway. We didn't lose the whole gallon, I managed to get it into a bowl before all of it leaked out. And I got most of the syrup on the floor scraped up, but there is still a huge sticky spot in the carpeting in front of the fridge ( I should probably be cleaning that instead of blogging...). All the big pieces of glass are picked up and in the trash, but I can't vacuum up the rest until I get the syrup mess cleaned up the rest of the way. Sequences, sequences.

Item #6 - Mark bombs lunch. It's not his fault. He never knows in advance when his presence is going to be required at a lunch meeting with architects or something. But after the morning we just lived through. But I worked really hard to get lunch done on time. Even with the syrup and the broken glass, We were right on track. In fact, I had just finished the tilapia and the rice when he called. Danggit. I only make real meals for lunch when he's home. If it's just the kids and me, PBJs, baby! (or ramen, or left-over pancakes, or...) So, if I make actual effort, and we're on track for lunch to be ready at actual lunch time, and the architects come calling, it totally takes all the wind out of my sails. Because my kids are no fun to cook for. They're whiny and demanding and unappreciative. And I have a LOT of left-overs from lunch. Except for tilapia. My kids like the way I cook tilapia.

Item #7 - The girls are in costume. All four of them. Since them moment they left the breakfast table. They have a restaurant game going on in the living room. Which is sweet and imaginative, but on a day that's already brim-full, it's too much chaos for my fried little brain. I'm ignoring it, but it's getting difficult. And they have all changed costume at least four times. Which means their room is a DISASTER. And now they're fighting over who gets to wear what, or who is in charge. And they want me to officiate. I can't even wrap my brain around it. I think I'm going into system-overload.

Item #8 - Nothing resembling school has taken place here today. Unless you count home economics: child care, cooking, running errands for Mommy Dearest.

Item #9 - The Continental Divide of clean-but-unsorted-and-unfolded laundry on my couch. It's all there, and it's all clean. No one can find clean socks or underwear, though. It has to be me. Even though it's right there. If it was a snake, it would have bit them.

Item #10 - Activity Days starts in an hour, and Gabriella is still in costume. And Pack Meeting starts half an hour before Activity Days is over. And they're at two different locations. How am I going to work that?

And so it goes. Waaahaaaahaaaahaaa! (sniffles and wipes eyes on sleeve)

OK. I feel a little better. Sorry.